Werewolf Jokes Witch Jokes Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms? A: They're afraid of flying off the handle! Q: What do witches put on their hair? A: Scare spray Q: How does the witch know what time it is? A: She looks at her witch-watch. Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling! Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? A: She witch-hiked! Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas? A: A haunted dollhouse. Q: Why do witches wear name tags? A: So, they would know which witch is which! Q: How do witches tell time? A: With a witch watch. Q: What do you call two witches living together? A: Broom-mates. Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel? A: Broom service. Q: What did one witch say to other when she asked for a lift? A: "There's always broom for one more." Q: When do witches cook their victims? A: On Fry Day. Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A: A sand-witch. Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch? A: A brrrooooommmm stick Q: Who was the most famous witch detective? A: Warlock Holmes Q: What do they teach in witching school? A: Spelling. Q: Why does a witch ride a broom? A:Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord. Q: What do you call a witch's garage? A:A broom closet. Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? A:She witch-hiked! Q: What do witches eat at Halloween ? A:Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie ! Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime ? A:Ghoul deluxe and the three scares ! Q: How does a witch tell the time ? A:With a witch watch ! Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the washing machine ? A:She wanted a clean sweep ! Q: What do you call two witches that share a room ? A:Broom mates ! Q: What noise does a witch's breakfast cereal make ? A:Snap, cackle and pop ! Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ? A:An itchy witchy ! Q: What's a cold, evil candle called ? A:The wicked wick of the north ! Q: What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ? A:A witch in a revolving door ! Q: What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ? A:A witch dressed as a cucumber ! Q: What happens if you see twin witches ? A:You won't be able to see which witch is witch ! Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling ? A:There was no future in it ! Q: Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ? A:Because it was an 'appy rash ! Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ? A:Broom sick ! Q: How did the witch almost lose her baby ? A:She didn't take it far enough into the woods ! Q: Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ? A:She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings ! Q: Where did the witch get her furniture ? A:From the ideal gnome exhibition ! Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash ? A:She wanted a clean sweep ! Q: What has six legs and flies ? A witch giving her cat a ride ! Q: What has handles and flies ? A: A witch in a dustbin ! Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces ? A: A witch on a trampoline ! Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital ? A: With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell ! Q: What do witches race on ? A: Vroomsticks ! Q: Why do witches scratch themselves all the time ? A: Because they're the only ones who know where a witch itches ! Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat ? A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen ! Q: How can you tell when a witch is really ugly ? A: When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes ! Q: Why did the witch go over the mountain ? A: Because she couldn't go under it ! Q: How do witches tell the time ? A: By looking at their witch watches ! Q: What's the best way of talking to a warty witch ? A: By telephone ! Q: How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ? A: By her suntan ! Q: What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph ? A: A witch on a high speed train ! Q: How is the witches team doing ? A: They're having a spell in the first division ! Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch ? A: She's forecasting sunny spells ! Q: What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema ? A: Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom ! Q: What is a witches favourite book? A: Broom at the top ! Q: What's the witches favourite pop group? A: Broomski Beat ! Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch? A: Two angry witches ! Q: What's the best way of seeing a witch? A: On the television ! Q: What did the witch write in her Christmas card? A: Best vicious of the season ! Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch? A: Very worried dogs ! Q: What do little witches like to play at school? A: Bat's cradle ! Q: What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? A: Every time she sneezed her hat blew off ! Q: What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV host? A: The producer said that she had the perfect face for radio ! Q: What kind of music do witches play on the piano? A: Hag-time ! Q: What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends? A: A witch with a blindfold ! Q: Why did the witch join the football club? A: Because she heard they were looking for a new sweeper ! Q: What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites? A: Don't bite any witches ! Q: What should you expect if you drop in on a witches home unexpectedly? A: Pot luck ! Q: What do witches sing at Christmas? A: "Deck the halls with poison ivy...." ! Q: What is old, ugly and blue? A: A witch holding it's breath ! Q: What do you call a witch that climbs up walls? A: Ivy ! Q: Why was the witch late for the party? A: She'd lost her witch-watch ! Q: What do you call a witch with one leg? A: Eileen ! Q: What is old and ugly and goes beep beep? A: A witch in a traffic jam ! Q: Why is a witch like a candle? A: They are both wicked ! Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse? A: She kept having Disney spells ! Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings? A: Because her grey ones were at the cleaners ! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch? A: A witch in soggy shoes ! Q: What usually runs in witches' families? A: Noses ! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, boom? A: A witch in a minefield ! Q: What happens to witches when it rains? A: They get wet ! Q: What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels? A: A witch on a skateboard ! Q: What do you call an old hag that lives by the sea? A: A sandwitch ! Q: What is the difference between a musician and a dead witch? A: One composes and the other decomposes ! Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A: A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot ! Q: Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist? A: Because she thought everybody loved her ! Q: Why won't a witch wear a flat hat? A: Because there is no point in it ! Q: What do you call a witch that stays out all night? A: A fresh air freak ! Q: What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg? A: A cold spell ! Q: Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? A: Because there are so many witches sweeping the sky ! Q: What do you call a witch by the side of the road with her thumb out? A: A witchhiker ! Q: What is the favourite subject of young witches at school? A: Spelling ! Q: Why did the witch consult an astrologer? A: She wanted to know her horror-scope ! Q: What is the difference between a witch and the letters M A K E S? A: One make spells and the other spell makes ! Q: What do little witches do after school? A: Their gnomework ! Q: Why do witches ride on broomsticks? A: Because it's quicker than walking ! Q: What's a witches favourite film? A: My Fear Lady ! Q: What do witches say when they overtake each other? A: Broom, broom, broom ! Q: Why do witches get good bargains? A: Because they like to haggle ! Q: What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch? A: One's a hunted stag and the other is a stunted hag ! Q: Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? A: She had never learnt to spell properly ! Q: What goes cackle, cackle, bonk? A: A witch laughing her head off ! Q: What are baby witches called? A: Halloweenies ! Q: What do you call a witches motor bike? A: A baaaarrrroooooooommmm stick ! Q: How can you tell if a witch has a glass eye? A: When it comes out in conversation ! Q: What is the witches motto? A: We came, we saw, we conjured ! Q: What happens to a witch when she loses her temper while riding her broom? A: She flies off the handle ! Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away the "w" ! Q: What do you call a nervous witch? A: A twitch ! Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school? A: Hex-aminations ! Q: What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A: A very witch person ! Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea? A: Out of flying saucers ! Q: What do witches ring for in a hotel? A: B-room service ! Q: Who's the fastest witch? A: The ones that ride on a vroom stick ! Q: Why do witches fly on broomsticks? A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy ! Q: What kind of jewellry do warty witches wear on their wrists? A: Charm bracelets ! Q: Why didn't the witch sing at the concert? A: Because she had a frog in her throat ! Q: What do you call a witch Who drives really badly? A: A road hag ! Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed? A: Run ! Q: What happened to the naughtly little witch at school? A: She was ex-spelled ! Q: Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo? A: One to get in and one to get out ! Q: What sound does a witch make when she cries? A: "Brew-hoo, Brew-hoo" ! Q: Why should men beware of beautiful witches? A: They'll sweep them off their feet ! Q: Is it true that a witch won't hurt you if you run away from her? A: It all depends on how fast you run ! Q: How does a witch make scrambled eggs? A: She holds the pan and gets 2 friends to make the stove shake with fright ! Q: How do you make a witch float? A: Blend two scoops of ice cream, and one witch! Q: What does a witch enjoy cooking most? A: Gnomelettes ! Q: When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb? A: You can hear their brooms tick ! Q: How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? A: With scare spray ! Q: What do you call a pretty and friendly witch? A: failure ! Q: Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches? A: Because if they were 12 inches they'd be a foot ! Q: What do you do if a witch in a pointy hat sits in front of you at the cinema? A: Miss most of the film ! Q: Why is a witches face like a million dollars? A: It's all green and wrinkly ! Q: What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day? A: A witch stuck in a elevator ! Q: What do you call a witch you likes the beach but is scared of the water? A: A chicken sandwitch ! Q: Who went into a witche's den and came out alive? A: The witch ! Q: What do you call two witches who share a broom sticks? A: Broom mates ! Q: What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? A: To keep their hats pointed ! Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark? A: That's the time to go to sweep ! Q: What did the witch say to the ugly toad? A: "I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone beat me to it" ! Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin? A: Ever tried broomstick pie? ! Q: What's the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick? A: Don't fly off the handle ! Q: What did the young witch say to her mother? A: Can I have the keys to the broom tonight ! Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats? A: To keep their heads warm ! Q: Why are black cats such good singers? A: They're very mewsical ! Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat? A: When your a mouse ! Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with Father Christmas? A: Santa Claws ! Q: What do witches cats like for breakfast? A: Mice krispies ! Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat with a canary? A: A peeping tom ! Q: What do you call it when a witches cat falls off a broomstick? A: A catastrophe ! Q: Why did the witch feed her cat with pennies? A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty ! Q: What did the black cat say to the fish? A: I've got a bone to pick with you ! Q: What do you call a witches cat that drinks vinegar? A: A sour puss ! Q: What do you call a witches cat with no legs? A: Anything you like, she won't be able to chase you ! Q: What do you get if you cross a witches cat and a canary? A: A cat with a full tummy ! Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass? A: A lawn miaower ! Q: What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and goes round and round? A: A black cat stuck in a clothes dryer ! Q: What did the black cat do when its tail got cut off in an accident? A: He went to a retail store ! Q: What do witches cats strive for? A: Purrfection ! Q: What is a little witch's favorite subject in school? A: Spelling! Q: Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime? A: "Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."